Life without bees: Less painful but less fruitful

          The first time I was stung by a bee was on a lawn covered in white clovers. I think it occured during a church picnic, but I can not be sure. I was stung another time during my family's summer visit to my grandmother. My brothers and I were playing tennis on some courts by a high school close to my grandmother's house. Our mediocrity soon showed when all of our tennis balls had gone over the fence. When straws had been picked, fate had given me the shortest of the lot. I went to retrieve the tennis balls, and on my return to the courts, a confounding pain surged up my leg. The tennis balls were dropped on the spot. I quickly investigated my foot to find squished remains of a honeybee. Several other painful encounters have been made between me and the stingers. I can only imagine how many other children have been stung by these fuzzy pollinators. To this day, I have been conditioned to be avidly vigilant whenever walking through a field of white clovers in fear of those yellow and black kamikazes. 

           With these past experiences at the front of my consciousness, you can imagine my disappointment when I heard that humanity would perish if bees disappeared from the earth. Apparently bees actually benefit the human race unintentionally by pollinating various fruits and vegetables. Their significant role in the environment could never be replaced. Plants reliant on the pollination by bees would become extinct. Animals (including humans) would lose their food source and eventually become extinct as well. All of my future plans for worldwide extermination seized.

            Fortunately, Dr. Berembaum, writer of The Earwig's Tail, thinks otherwise. She investigated the matter (including statements supposedly said by Albert Einstein). According to Einstein, humanity wouldn't last four years after the extinction of bees. Dr. Berembaum researched the validity of the quote. None of Einstein's speeches ever touched on the subject of bees. While I am sure he has proven his capabilities in the world of science, his main focus involved the mechanics of light and physical phenomena rather than arthropods. Berembaum also believes that the extinction of bees will not spell the end of humanity. A great variety of fruits and vegetables may rely on the pollination of bees, but not every plant will die if the bees die. Fruits and vegetables such as onions and figs will remain on the earth for consumption. 

              Annalee Newitz gave a helpful illustration of what an average food market would look like if bees were extinct. 

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If you look at this picture and you think you could live without the bees, you are free to join my conquest at youreaninsecticidalmaniac.com. Tally ho!